January 15, 2015
Great cultures
I’m really surprised that “culture” is the word of the year, and not “awkward.” Maybe I’m just seeing it everywhere because I feel like I’m getting a master’s degree in awkward right now, and it hit a crescendo yesterday. More on that in a moment.
I’ve actually taken a class on it. No joke. It was called “Embracing Awkwardness” at Camp Contact at Burning Man, described as:
“What happens when we intentionally create awkward experiences in dance, touch, conversation? Come play and find out.”
It was a blast. We talked about what awkwardness is, and then we created it by saying what’s on our minds, standing too close, touching in that zone between appropriate and inappropriate.
At a place like Burning Man, nothing is really awkward, except for coming home and dealing with the real world. And it’s here, in Los Angeles, California where I’m finding it.
I’ve been taking a class in stand-up comedy, and wow, talk about awkward and vulnerable. I’m used to being on stage but this is a whole new level. If talking to a company is like going to the gym, then stand-up is like going to bootcamp… with the Navy Seals.
I’m about to start teaching at American Jewish University where I need to figure out how to relate to 20-year olds. And next week I’m going to Hawaii as one of the youngest members of a group called the Transformational Leadership Council. It’s a wonderful group, though I feel like the new kid at school where everyone knows each other.
And just yesterday I felt the business equivalent of having your pants pulled down in public.
I have been working on my book launch for months, and it’s been up for pre-sale on Amazon on the Kindle. Well, it was up. They claim I never uploaded the final file when I did. And so they sent me this:
Dear Robert J. Richman,
The pre-order for your book The Culture Blueprint has been canceled. Customers have been notified that it was canceled because you did not provide the file as committed. Pre-orders were canceled because we did not receive the final version of your file by the due date.
Best Regards,
Kindle Direct Publishing Team
Not only did they cancel all my customers’ orders. They tell them I’m the jack ass for never submitting the book. When I told them that the file was uploaded and that customer service verified it several days before, they said:
“I’m truly sorry if we told you that everything was fine, we’ll take the appropriate actions with the person who misinformed you about the status of your book. Regarding the customers who pre-ordered your book, I suggest to use social media such as Facebook and Twitter to inform them of the change and encourage to buy the book again.”
I was so upset and nauseous that I was shaking. This has been months in the making. Friends were very sympathetic, but I was in a state of shock.
Last night I was laying in bed, unable to fall asleep. It hit me. This may actually be a really good thing. And I can’t believe it took the awkwardness of Amazon embarrassing me in public in order to see it.
Next post.
January 3, 2015
Hacks ,Vision
This was my answer to the question, “Do you have ADD?” I could not have Adult ADD. That’s a fake disease for people who can’t get things done. But the man asking the question was Dr. Norman Rosenthal, an icon in psychology. He was the man who wrote the book on S.A.D, St. John’s Wart, and Transcendental Meditation. So when he said, “Just humor me and take this test,” I did.
“You are off the charts, ADD,” he said after scoring my test.
I was in shock. I could not believe it.
“And it affirms my theory about you,” he continued. “I know you came here to treat depression, but I think there is a deeper root issue. You have a lot of ideas and projects and you don’t get them done because of ADD. That causes you to stress, so you get very anxious and you work even harder without focusing. Then when you run out of energy from being anxious, you get depressed.”
Then there was the medication test. Ironically, stimulants slow down the brain of someone with ADD. If you don’t have ADD, they feel like having too much coffee. But if you do have ADD, it’s very calming. When I took the medication, it felt like I was relaxed and breathing for the first time.
The long term effects of using stimulants were too risky for me to continue for long, but now I had a new lens – one that I need to remember from time to time as this cycle starts up again.
I have found a very surprising tool for how to deal with the stress of having a lot of ideas. I’m actually using it, right now as I type this. In fact, you’re reading the product of it. Let me explain.
I was listening to Kayne Mantyla of WeFloat.net who has a great definition of stress:
Very simple: Stimulus come in (in the form of anything – conversations, phone calls, problems, challenges, ideas, tasks, requests, entertainment, news). If we have the resources to process them, there is no stress. But if they build up and we can’t process it all, then we get overwhelmed. Then the system is overloaded and we get stressed, sick, annoyed, angry, etc.
The opposite of stress is Integration. That’s what happens when we have strong resources in the form of balanced emotions, healthy bodies, systems to process information, methods of getting things done, etc.
Now I’m sure you can think of many resources such as yoga, meditation, healthy foods, exercise, systems of getting things done, etc. I have another to add. First, more on the problem.
I have so many thoughts, theories, ideas, and projects that I can’t integrate them. In fact, for this year-end review I went through my idea notebook (below) and can’t believe how much I’ve come up with but never really did anything with all these ideas. And I have so many blog post ideas I wrote, but I never actually wrote them. And now my energy is not in them and some of my notes don’t even make sense now.
It’s easy to see why…
We have so much input, especially with media consumption. Think about it this way: How many books, shows, articles, and movies did you consume this year? Now, how many did you create? This is the energetic equivalent of constipation – eating a lot but not processing it all. No wonder so many people are so stressed out!
What we need is to balance the ratio. Less consumption, more creation.
And there is a fantastic manual on it:
This little $7 book is pure gold.
It’s a basic idea, explained beautifully with many examples: Show what you’re working on, show what you’re thinking about. It makes it real. It takes it out of your head, you get feedback and most importantly, you get what’s probably the most rewarding value of all: Contributing to someone else’s life. His other book Steal Like an Artist, is also great. Here’s what he found after writing it:
“Almost all of the people I look up and try to steal from today, regardless of their profession, have built sharing into their routine. These people aren’t schmoozing at cocktail parties; they’re too busy for that. They’re cranking away in their studios, their laboratories, or their cubicles, but instead of maintaining absolute secrecy and hoarding their work, they’re open about what they’re working on.”
It’s just so easy to share. That’s what I’m doing with this blog. And it’s surprised me how my posts have lead to new business that I did not expect.
A friend of mine went to a conference and he said it changed his life. I said, you must share it now. Publicly, openly. It can be a blog post, a podcast, a video recording. Each of us literally hold a complete recording studio, editing facility and broadcast unit within our smart phones. There is no excuse not to share.
This is one of the principles in my new book, The Culture Blueprint.
When I was managing Zappos Insights people would ask, “How can you guys spend so much time giving tours of your company and still focus on your own success?” But that’s exactly it – sharing keeps you accountable and call it spiritual, but what you give comes back around and Zappos’ loyal customers are proof.
We would give away culture books (for free) and still make money. You can still get one here. And we monetized the interest by selling corporate training on culture and service.
That’s why I’m giving away the audio version of my book.
Integration is having the resources to deal with stimuli. Integration is taking the parts of life that seem to run in different directions and connecting them so they fuel each other. Integration is my theme for 2105. More on that in future posts.
December 29, 2014
Values ,Vision
Rather than new year’s resolutions, I pick themes. They provide enough direction to keep me on track, but enough space for the year to evolve. Past themes included: Service, Community, and Culture. (Webster’s actually called culture the word of the year!)
This word comes up for me a lot, and I believe it may even replace the word Innovation. It’s all about going through a world of distractions and choices and focusing only on what’s of high value. What’s interesting is as I look back on the year, I would say it was a different theme. The theme was actually “Letting Go.”
It started off in a very professional sense. In 2013 I was paid a lot to tell companies what to do. I would go in, evaluate their cultures, tell them what they’re doing wrong and how to fix it. And it was humbling to see that most of them would do nothing with the information. I was totally disheartened.
Then I started working with my long time friend and mentor, Dan Mezick. He helped me realize that no one likes being told what to do. And when it comes to culture change, people check out when they’re given mandates and directives. But they get really engaged when they feel like they’re co-creators of the larger story.
He showed me the way of Open Space Technology, a meeting format that allows a group to determine what they’re passionate and take action on what comes up. We teamed up and went to Intuit (below), using Open Agile Adoption – it combines open space with cultural rites of passage to help a group through a transition. The result was an extremely high level of engagement and participation. And we didn’t have to be “gurus” or “experts.” We’re just the people who set up the game for the group’s true wisdom to emerge.
After doing this for small companies to multi-nationals, I told my old boss and friend, Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh. First we held an open space for the Las Vegas Downtown project. It was so effective that some called it the most productive three hours they ever spent at the company. Others were in tears as they bonded with people they never had a connection with before. It worked so well that Tony used the model at the Zappos all-hands meeting with 2000 people.
It was an honor to watch this all happen in what felt like my final farewell to both Zappos and Las Vegas entirely…
I came to Vegas after having lost it all in a business. And in a few short years I went from being in debt to having a wonderful career and this beautiful home. But it was clear I was ready to leave. I can do my job from anywhere so I wanted to be close to friends and family. So I sold my home (thankfully the market was up 50% from when I bought it). And in only a couple months I went down from this full house to just a pile of things:
Letting go of Vegas also included letting go of a relationship I wanted. I was dating a woman I was very into and I wanted to take it to the next level but she didn’t. While it was quite a disappointment, I was happy that she gave me feedback as to why. She said, “You’re always so serious. We never laugh and you don’t seem to have any fun.” She was right. I only focused on business and everything else I seemed to treat as if it were a business.
That was early in the year, and (ironically) I took fun very seriously for the rest of the year, developing a plan for it. I talked to my friend Shane who seemed to have more fun than anyone else and I asked how he does it. His solution was simple:
“Look at who is having more fun than you, and do what they do.”
The answer for me was clear. The people I saw having the most fun were improv actors. It looked like non-stop fun and laughs!
The best classes were in LA so I drove down every weekend to take a class with my brother. When I moved back to LA I took an improv intensive:
I started off so nervous! I was shaking every time I went up. Public speaking to a thousand people? Piece of cake. Playing pretend with a few actors in a warehouse? Terrifying.
It was a struggle until I realized that the funniest people didn’t even seem to pay attention to the audience. They were just having fun! And they fully committed. That’s when it got easier. When I let go of the need to look good and the need be funny. It would constantly amaze me how much just being real got more laughs than jokes.
I started to improvise more in speeches, so I could be more connected with the audience rather than with powerpoint slides.
And the principles of improv are so in alignment with the best teams I’ve ever worked with.
Coming back to LA has been amazing. I have so many friends and family here. I moved in with my brother so I can focus on my book launch (more on that in the next post). Being with him feels like being a kid back at camp. He taught me how to play golf, and I love it! I used to make fun of golfers. Now I find it incredibly fulfilling, peaceful and meditative. (I guess it takes a good coach, and a great course like the one we played in Newport…)
And I wrapped up the year with what I feel has been the ultimate exercise in letting go. You see, I’ve done so many forms of self-development: Programs, retreats, gurus, books, devices, supplements, you name it.
But what’s worked incredibly well is… just being. And this has made it easy to do that:
It’s a sensory deprivation tank, or a floatation tank.
It’s totally dark, so you can’t see anything.
You have ear plugs in so you can’t hear anything.
The water is skin temperature and holds you up with epsom salts, so you don’t feel anything.
No senses. Just a one-on-one meeting with you.
Many people find it immediately relaxing. But my first several times I had panic attacks, and not because of claustrophobia (it’s very easy to get out). It felt like I had no control, not even over my own thoughts. Even worse, when I noticed my thoughts stop I wondered if I was dead and I would shoot up with my heart racing.
But I’m all about facing my fears. So I would do it, every other day, for the last 3 weeks this year. I developed what felt like an intimate relationship with anxiety. I’ll be talking about it in future posts, and not just from a personal angle. One of the biggest blocks to culture change is the anxiety and worry of what it means and what will happen next.
In the tank I gradually went from terror down to mild fear, down to stillness and even to boredom. I realized that it was all about facing any uncomfortable feeling, not just fear.
I made myself stay, to see what’s beyond boredom. That’s when I started to relax, and after that came my vision for the greatest year yet.
Next post: 2015 The Year of…
December 27, 2014
Great cultures
I was on the Entrepreneur on Fire podcast. I get more into the personal aspect of my story. Have a listen here.
